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Sorhed
Sorhed is the antagonist of Bored of the Rings - a widely-acclaimed satirical work of parodying high fantasy, especially Lord of the Rings. Origins Sorhed was "simply not trollish" and he studied the dark ways at night school, and eventually fell in love with Schlob. Then the two married against their peers' wishes. She bore Sorhed nine sons, the Nozdrul who became his henchmen. Sorhed lacked imagination, calling one of his sons "Aargh." He "learned of the Great Ring" and struggled to obtain its power to rule the world. Finally there was a war at Ipswitch and Brylopad, which climaxed in the Ngaio Marsh where the free people got the victory and Sorhed was "no more." However, unknown to the heralds, Sorhed and his Nozdrul changed into gypsies, and fled the battlefield. Returning to their land of Fordor, the "property values dropped like a paralyzed falcon." Sorhed returned and announced his new war after some fifty years of "peace." Biography Sorhed turned the wizard Serutan into an evil puppet, to conquer Roi-Tan. Then he made a move to send his nine Nozdrul to hunt down Frito Bugger and his friends, bearers of his Ring. They were taking the Ring to be destroyed in Fordor but Sorhed wanted it back. So did Serutan but he was double-crossed. The Nozdrul failed in their quest to find the Ring because they had not enough money. Then, it was decided the Ring should be destroyed in the "tar pits." So the Company set off and met Sorhed's forces which split them up. Goodgulf the wizard went to Minastrone with the boggies. Before the battle, Goodgulf found Moxie playing with Serutan's prized magic stone, and Sorhed appeared as a "foul visage, it's jowels quivering with malice and rage." Goodgulf then snatched the stone, berated the boggie, and then asked the Fates about the future. When asked if Sorhed would be defeated, the Fates, who had been bribed by Sorhed, announced the question was moot. Then Goodgulf and his forces met the full force of Sorhed's army but the enemy was all destroyed. However, Sorhed had kept his greatest force in the Black Land and unleashed it upon the enemy's arrival. Included in the army were aliens, the Brain from planet Aerous, a six legged Diplodocus, the Thing, IT, and the Blob. Behind the vast armies of zombies, vampires and narcs came the dead themselves. Then the Ring got thrown into tar back in Fordor by Frito, and the armies collapsed into white mice. Sorhed's dark tower got crushed into nothing, along with Fordor, and it was implied Sorhed sneakily changed into a large bread pudding and retreated over the mountains with a "steamer trunk of odd socks." Category:Parody/Homage Category:Comedy Villains Category:Karma Houdini Category:Fallen Heroes Category:Brainwashers Category:Book Villains Category:Sadists Category:Mongers Category:Warlords Category:Fighters Category:Psychopath Category:Evil from the Past Category:Dark Forms Category:Dark Fantasy Villains Category:Dark Knights Category:Dark Messiah Category:Cult Leaders Category:Misanthropes Category:Necessary Evil Category:Necromancers Category:Thief Category:Terrorists Category:Male Category:Greedy Category:Addicts Category:Extravagant Category:Extremists Category:Extortionists Category:Brutes Category:Monster Master Category:Monarchs Category:Immortals